10 rude rules for troubled bloggers
October 15th 2008 03:50
1.
Stop moaning. Stop whining and pouting and looking for someone or something to blame for your blog's lack of success. Admit that this is your fault. Yes, it is. Go on, say to yourself, "This is my blog, this is my responsibility, this is my doing." There, feels strange doesn't it. That's because you are now ready for point two.
2.
Learn to adapt. If you really believe you know everything there is to know about blogging, stop reading now.
3.
Learn grammar and learn to spell. No, you can't. Maybe five per cent of bloggers are good spellers and grammarians and those five per cent aren't moaning about their blog's stats. They're too busy trying to become better writers.
4.
Learn to write. No, you can't. Maybe two per cent of bloggers are good writers. And those two per cent aren't moaning about their blog's stats. They're too busy trying to become even better writers.
5.
Find guides on writing and blogging and headline-writing and presentation and subject focus and search-engine optimisation and reader interaction. Learn what "value-added" means. It's all on the web. Find guides and really read them. Pretend it's dear old Great Uncle Ebeneezer's last will and testament and you may be mentioned somewhere in the small print. Caveat: Most of those guides are badly written.
6.
There are positive and negative aspects of everything. It's easy to write about the negatives. A sensationalist snapshot of a bigger picture, add two sneers, a jeer and a hoot - 10 minutes and it's done and posted. But it's short-term gratification. It's garbage and you know it and so do your blog's long-term readership numbers.
7.
Look up the word plagiarism. Okay, now avoid it like a pustuled maggot.
8.
Clichés are the first resort of the impoverished writer. If you don't get that, return to point one and start all over.
9.
Don't mention yourself in your posts. Never ever. Unless you know what you're doing. But you have to learn how to write first.
10.
Learn patience. If you've read this far, you may be starting to think that a fresh start may be needed. Yeah, I know, it's a cruel world. But it's survivable - this I know from experience. Think of everything you have done so far as an apprenticeship. It's a question of whether you want to create something worthwhile, or whether you'd prefer to fool yourself that you have created something worthwhile.
Stop moaning. Stop whining and pouting and looking for someone or something to blame for your blog's lack of success. Admit that this is your fault. Yes, it is. Go on, say to yourself, "This is my blog, this is my responsibility, this is my doing." There, feels strange doesn't it. That's because you are now ready for point two.
2.
Learn to adapt. If you really believe you know everything there is to know about blogging, stop reading now.
3.
4.
Learn to write. No, you can't. Maybe two per cent of bloggers are good writers. And those two per cent aren't moaning about their blog's stats. They're too busy trying to become even better writers.
5.
Find guides on writing and blogging and headline-writing and presentation and subject focus and search-engine optimisation and reader interaction. Learn what "value-added" means. It's all on the web. Find guides and really read them. Pretend it's dear old Great Uncle Ebeneezer's last will and testament and you may be mentioned somewhere in the small print. Caveat: Most of those guides are badly written.
6.
There are positive and negative aspects of everything. It's easy to write about the negatives. A sensationalist snapshot of a bigger picture, add two sneers, a jeer and a hoot - 10 minutes and it's done and posted. But it's short-term gratification. It's garbage and you know it and so do your blog's long-term readership numbers.
7.
Look up the word plagiarism. Okay, now avoid it like a pustuled maggot.
8.
Clichés are the first resort of the impoverished writer. If you don't get that, return to point one and start all over.
9.
Don't mention yourself in your posts. Never ever. Unless you know what you're doing. But you have to learn how to write first.
10.
Learn patience. If you've read this far, you may be starting to think that a fresh start may be needed. Yeah, I know, it's a cruel world. But it's survivable - this I know from experience. Think of everything you have done so far as an apprenticeship. It's a question of whether you want to create something worthwhile, or whether you'd prefer to fool yourself that you have created something worthwhile.
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Comment by katyzzz
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Comment by Catana
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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of course it depends if you want immediate gratification or long term traffic . . . but if you are blogging more as a social venture i can guarentee you will have more subscribers and more return visitors the more you talk about yourself . . . you become a character everyone wants to spy on, like an episode of Neighbours, or a Greek saga!
also if you are just looking for easy comments people tend to find informal, light and fluffy blogs the most approachable . . . they feel safe sharing their opinions in low stress environments . . . oh and cliches make the reader feel comfortable (some may call it dumbing down) . . . there may not be any future or revenue in this approach but people will talk to you more!
im using mixed-metaphors and a complete lack of punctuation as my signatures!
Comment by Wynona Lavota
Generation Y Life
But where may I ask, have you found bloggers complaining about blog success on Orble? I've seen no such posts.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Catana, I have a dream! I want to change that number to 97!
Morgan, yes, the post is about long-term traffic. Orble success is a different subject.
Wynona, as I said to Morgan, this is not about Orble. It's about search engine recognition and individual reader numbers, and optimising the process. It's for bloggers who believe the hype and set out to create another Gizmo and spend a year posting junk and then wonder why it's not working.