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Bloggercises - October 2008

Bloggercises: Redundancies 2

October 24th 2008 20:09

This is a simple exercise aimed at helping you become a better writer. The exercise is not difficult. It is not a test. The aim is to foster the habit of checking for redundant words or phrases.

Text cleared of redundancies is a sign of an effective writer. It makes your reader feel comfortable.

In each of the following sentences, remove or change words to make the writing tighter. The answers are below.

----------------------------- ----------------------------

The Australian dollar has depreciated in value.

She has set a new world record.

I am learning Mandarin Chinese.

These are desirable benefits.

It weighs 7.5 metric tonnes.

Social inequalities need to be eliminated altogether.

The weather situation is deteriorating rapidly.

Wall murals are popular in New York.

There were sand dunes as far as you could see.

The works of Somerset Maugham still remain my favourite.

INTERLUDE
Musashi vs. Kojiro, by Gary Hostallero (http://www.hostallero.com/)

The Australian dollar has depreciated.

She has set a world record.

I am learning Mandarin.

These are beneficial.

It weighs 7.5 tonnes.

Social inequalities need to be eliminated.

The weather is deteriorating rapidly.

Murals are popular in New York.

There were dunes as far as you could see.

The works of Somerset Maugham remain my favourite.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Redundancies

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Comments

8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

October 24th 2008 20:42

Potter in a Harry

Chris,

I know you've got a sense of humour. I just couldn't resist this.

The use of unnecessary words is a sign of poor writing. Conversely, text cleared of redundancies is a sign of an effective writer.

The use of unnecessary words is a sign of poor writing.

Seriously? They're great examples.

Comment by Chris Champion

October 24th 2008 21:29

moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
NewlyOld
The Blog of Lists

That's not a redundancy. That's an, umm, essential educator's requirement for controlled repetition to reinforce the crucial element of the issue under discussion.

Comment by Norm

October 24th 2008 21:52

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

I read this from the bottom up, naturally. I'm thinking that stating the banal is very, very, very funny stuff, entirely. Even if it's erroneous: anybody regarding Somerset Maugham favourably, at all. Are you learning Mandarin?

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

October 24th 2008 22:03

Potter in a Harry

That's not a redundancy. That's an, umm, essential educator's requirement for controlled repetition to reinforce the crucial element of the issue under discussion.

hahahahahaha. That brought back memories of my Grade 7 teacher. What can I say but, "Spoken like a true educator."

One day one of my classmates pointed out that she'd left one of the letters out of the alphabet when she'd written it across the top of the blackboard. She came back with, "Aha! I was hoping someone would pick that up."

Comment by Chris Champion

October 24th 2008 22:10

moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
NewlyOld
The Blog of Lists

Yes Norm - it is my dream to learn to read Mandarin so that I can study Chinese translations of Somerset Maugham's works and do comparative studies with the English originals. I'll start a new blog and post the results there. Are you interested in co-authoring the blog? We could share the Adsense returns.

Comment by Chris Champion

October 24th 2008 22:15

moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
NewlyOld
The Blog of Lists

Grade 7? Are you South Australian?

If your teacher dropped a letter and you bent down to pick it up, would that be alphabet stoop?

Comment by Norm

October 24th 2008 22:20

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

You could translate them yourself and then do the comparative studies. I'm interested in any project that includes me.

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

October 24th 2008 22:23

Potter in a Harry

Chris,

Yep. South Australian by birth only. I refuse to admit to any other affiliation with the state.

As to your question? The term I'd use would depend upon the gender and age of the teacher. Two minute noodles?

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